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 Wonderful definitions

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Sharazade
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Age : 34
Location : Bacoor, Cavite, Philippines

PostSubject: Wonderful definitions   Wed Aug 12, 2009 3:07 pm

One of my friends sent this to me via e-mail. It cracked me up so i decided to copy-paste it here. Very Happy

Wonderful Definitions

School:

A place where Parents pay and children play

Life Insurance:

A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:

A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage:

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters..

Divorce:

Future tense of Marriage.

Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

Dictionary:

A place where success comes before work

Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on

Father:

A banker provided by nature

Criminal:

A person no different from the rest ....except that he/she got caught

Boss:

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

Politician:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after

Doctor:

A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic:

Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher:

A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise


Have a nice day!!! Smile

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Incarnate
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Location : San Diego

PostSubject: Re: Wonderful definitions   Wed Aug 12, 2009 3:34 pm

Laughing Laughing Laughing

They are true! These are facts in my book!
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Livian

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Location : Las Vegas, NV

PostSubject: Re: Wonderful definitions   Fri Aug 14, 2009 8:04 pm

I agree. Very Happy

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Wolffe

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PostSubject: Re: Wonderful definitions   Sat Aug 15, 2009 10:18 pm

Fucking awesome. So true, especially the married parts. Trust me, I'd know lol
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Sharazade
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PostSubject: Re: Wonderful definitions   Sun Aug 16, 2009 1:21 pm

Master Wolffe? O.o

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Wolffe

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PostSubject: Master Woof?   Sun Aug 16, 2009 3:28 pm

No I wear the pants in my house.... wait a sec... has anyone SEEN my pants? I can;t find em... hmm... no good. Guess I'll be playing in my underwear yet again. Very Happy
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RoboMax

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PostSubject: Re: Wonderful definitions   Sun Aug 16, 2009 7:01 pm

Whoop Whoop, it is soo true! And i hear you - playing in pants is good, but playing in the nude I think is better :-D
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Wolffe

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PostSubject: Playing in the nude   Mon Aug 17, 2009 2:14 am

I don't know about playing in the nude, but I have lots of time in my underwear lol
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Livian

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PostSubject: Re: Wonderful definitions   Tue Aug 18, 2009 8:42 pm

Nudeness under a robe works too. Smile Done once or twice because my clothes were in the wash. :3
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